Planning the Perfect Proposal

A photographer's tips for slowing down, soaking it in, and capturing the moment they'll never see coming.

I've had quite a few proposal inquiries lately, and I have to admit—surprise proposals are quickly becoming some of my absolute favorite sessions to photograph.

There's something incredibly special about being invited into that moment. Before the wedding planning, the venue, the flowers, the guest list, the DJ, and all of the details, there's just this one person asking another person to spend their life with them.

And if you're planning to propose, you're probably wondering: What actually makes the perfect proposal?

From a photographer's perspective, my biggest piece of advice is surprisingly simple:

Slow down.

I know you're nervous. I know you've probably rehearsed this moment a hundred times in your head. But when the time finally comes, take a second and enjoy it.

Say what you wanted to say. Look at the person you love. Give them time to realize what's happening. And please—try not to turn your back completely toward your photographer! I promise I'll help you plan where to stand beforehand so we can capture both of your reactions.

Those few extra seconds can make such a difference, both in your photographs and in how you remember the moment.

Make It Personal

The proposals I love most aren't necessarily the most elaborate ones. They're the ones that actually mean something to the couple.

I recently photographed—or have coming up—a proposal involving a couple who connected through running. Another gentleman is planning to propose while riding one of Newport's little red touring vehicles because it's something the couple loves doing when they visit town.

That's perfect.

Your proposal doesn't need to look like anyone else's. Think about your story. Where did you meet? What do you love doing together? Is there a place you always visit? An inside joke? A favorite Newport tradition?

The more personal it feels, the better.

Help Them Get Ready Without Giving It Away

Here's another little trick: if you're arranging proposal photography, remember that your partner will probably want to feel good about how they look in the pictures.

You don't have to give away the surprise.

Tell them you're going somewhere nice afterward. Make dinner reservations. Plan another activity that gives them a perfectly believable reason to dress up a little.

You can even make the dinner reservation together ahead of time. They'll think that's the plan.

Meanwhile, you and I know there's a much bigger surprise coming first.

Then Let the Moment Happen

Once the question has been asked, I don't want to rush you immediately into posed photographs.

Celebrate.

Hug. Laugh. Cry. Jump up and down.

I once photographed someone who was so excited that she practically jumped up and down for ten minutes. It was absolutely adorable—and those completely unscripted reactions are exactly what I love capturing.

That's the magic of photographing a proposal. You don't get a second take of that first realization that this is actually happening.

Hopefully, this is a moment you'll experience only once.

That's why I feel incredibly lucky every time someone trusts me to photograph it.

For a few minutes, before all the wedding planning and beautiful chaos begins, I get to witness two people making a promise to one another.

And really, what could be sweeter than that?

If you're planning a surprise proposal in Newport, Portsmouth, or anywhere around Rhode Island, I'd love to help you plan the photography side of it—and I'll happily hide behind whatever rock, tree, boat, or Newport landmark necessary to keep the secret.

— Caitlin